Blossom Blog

Not long ago I heard a story of a cattle farmer who had an old heifer who was of no further value to the farm; because of this, the farmer had decided to have the cow slandered for her meat. InitialIy I didn’t think too much of it but a few days later early one morning I woke up and thought of that old heifer and heard myself say “that’s what it feels like to be a women in this world”. Now I know that may sound somewhat negative and melodramatic but, if I am being honest, that is exactly the thought that came to me…..I cried. I was triggered, showing me there’s still much work to be done.

Now, as I admit the ominous sound of the story and my reaction, I want to make it clear, this is NOT a victimization of women nor is it blaming! It is just simply a transparent recognition and admission to some of the challenges that I have faced as a woman. It is hopefully somewhat of a roadmap on how I am learning to come to terms with as well as let go of the fear surrounding most of these challenges. The sad truth is many, if not most, of the challenges we as women face are at the hands of other women due to either an individual, or a collective sense of insecurity birth from fear. I have been on both side of this injustice. I have and continue to “unbecome” all that keeps me tethered to its grip.

I have read three books this year that have stirred me. All the Way to the River by Elizabeth Gilbert, The Reclaimed Woman by Dr. Kelly Brogan, and Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. I highly recommend them all for any woman who has come to that proverbial fork in the road with that overwhelming feeling of “I am DONE”. I personally believe that all women at some point in their middle years will face the decision to either continue staying the course of conforming to social norms, appeasing to keep the peace, and pleasing everyone at her own expense – OR – will she remember and reclaim back her wildness…her true nature…her devine Queenship.

Let me explain a little bit about what I am referencing on the Queenship of a woman. For much too long we women have settled and walked in the energy of the Princess archetype. While fooling ourselves into thinking a Princess is good enough, we compromise and live in a place of need and want for the crumbs of acclamation and approval from others. The Princess cries when she doesn’t get what she think she wants, and out of confusion and frustration of life’s circumstances, will outsources her power and authority to others. She negotiates her worth and begs for the guidance from a knight in shining armor who will rescue her so she can live happily ever after.

BUT…The Queen Archetype...this is a women who has answered the calling back to herself. She is at a place that she no longer needs an identity formed by the necessary requirements and conditions of others. She is clear and comfortable in who she is. She is not fighting nature because she knows she is one with it. She has faced and been forge by the fire and has come out stronger with a knowing and an acceptance of her natural state. She has an unwavering clarity and is comfortable knowing who she is and is filled with joy from taking full authority FOR HERSELF. She has no interest in dictating or blaming others. She has accepted responsibility for herself and the life that she desires to create. The Queen does not acquire energy from a pseudo entitlement like the Princess, but through true ownership and reclamation of herself she is able to move through life proudly and unapologetically.

This transformation may sound fantastical….IT IS NOT! We spend the first half of our lives becoming, the second half ask us to unbecome. To unbecome all the attachments weighing us down. This requires many lonely trips to a metaphorical river where figuratively you will go into a watery grave, shed the old, and transform into the new. Joined only by the past versions of yourself from the innocent infant, the curious toddler, the angry teenager, the new mother, the wise elderly grandmother. This trip will be marked with descansos, little white crosses marking the end, the many deaths faced….a dream, an idea, an expectation, an identity.

Something that must be stressed here, the vital and probably most important part of the process; the critical aspect of being patient and loving to yourself while taking time to honor every death, every sacrifice…grieve, and finally forgive. Forgive others, forgive life, forgive yourself. This step if overlooked and the process rushed will only result in the birth of the stereotypical “bitch” who is filled with bitterness, resentment, and rage. Leaving a tainted legacy for all who follow.

This past year 2025 was the year of the snake in Chinese tradition. It represented a time for shedding. A time to shed all that was no longer beneficial, no longer served the version one wanted to be moving forward. Also the shedding of the scales from eyes provided a new perspective of what to come. 2025 was a time to let go of the weight of other’s expectations, values, beliefs, requirements, and cling to a new clearer vision of truth. The new year, 2026….the year of the fire horse represents freedom, power, and certainty with a lightness and comfort. The truths that the snake revealed, the horse now invites you to embrace and run with.

My oldest daughter Jessica has been doing some shedding this past year, her fortieth. She wanted to take time with intention and clarity to focus on becoming a better version of herself. She has worked hard physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I am so proud of her determination and commitment to go through the uncomfortable shedding of an unconscious burdon of inauthentic life.

In our family, Jessica is next in line in our female linage followed by Grace and then Adisen. I wish I could say it has been me that has taught them these precepts from infancy but the truth is, they have taught me. They have taught me by example on how to be brave, courageous, and honest….my greatest joys, my greatest teachers. I dedicate this post primarily to Jessica to honor her on her birthday month but It is also to honor all of the daughters, granddaughters, great granddaughter, who will come behind me.

My hope, desire, and sincere prayer is that they as well as all of us, will unbecome…shedding all fear and insecurity. That we will embody the way of the wild woman, the natural woman, the Queen and walk in confidence filled with grace, love, and compassion for not only one another but most importantly ourselves.

Much love in the New Year!